Understanding domestic abuse

Domestic abuse can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender, culture, sexuality, or background. It is not limited to intimate partners; it can occur in families, between young people, and in a wide range of relationships. Understanding the signs and knowing how to respond is essential for safeguarding and wellbeing.

What Is Domestic Abuse?

Domestic abuse is any incident or pattern of controlling, coercive, threatening, violent, or abusive behaviour between people aged 16 or over who are personally connected. Abuse can be:

Physical – hitting, pushing, restraining
Emotional or psychological – intimidation, humiliation, threats
Sexual – any non-consensual sexual activity
Financial or economic – controlling money, preventing access to work
Coercive or controlling behaviour – isolating someone, monitoring movements, enforcing rules

Domestic abuse is about power and control, not conflict.

Domestic Abuse Happens in Many Situations

Domestic abuse is not limited to traditional partner relationships. It can occur in:

Teen Relationship Abuse

Young people may experience controlling behaviour, jealousy, pressure to share images, or threats. Abuse in teenage relationships is often overlooked but can escalate quickly.

Same-Sex Relationships

Abuse can occur in LGBTQ+ relationships, sometimes involving threats of “outing”, isolation, or identity-based manipulation.

Different Cultures and Communities

Cultural expectations, honour-based abuse, forced marriage, and community pressure can all contribute to harmful dynamics.

Adult Child to Parent Abuse

This includes son-to-mother violence, coercion, intimidation, and financial exploitation. It is often hidden due to shame or fear.

Financial Abuse

Controlling access to money, preventing employment, taking wages, or building debt in someone else’s name.

Domestic abuse can affect anyone — and it is never the victim’s fault.

Recognising the Signs

You may notice:

Unexplained injuries or frequent “accidents”
Anxiety, fearfulness, or withdrawal
A partner or family member speaking for the person
Sudden financial difficulties
Isolation from friends, work, or education
Changes in behaviour, confidence, or appearance
Excessive monitoring of phone, messages, or movements

Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, it may be a sign of abuse.

The Scale of Domestic Abuse in the UK

Domestic abuse is widespread. According to Women’s Aid and the Office for National Statistics:

An estimated 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime.
Police in England and Wales receive a domestic abuse-related call every 30 seconds.
Two women a week are killed by a current or former partner.
Over 70% of domestic abuse survivors never contact the police.

These figures highlight the importance of early identification and support.

How to Support Someone Experiencing Domestic Abuse

Listen without judgement – believe them and validate their feelings.
Avoid blaming language – focus on safety, not decisions they have made.
Encourage them to talk to a professional – such as a GP, support worker, or safeguarding lead.
Discuss safety planning – small steps to reduce risk.
Record concerns accurately – factual, objective, and confidential.
Report safeguarding concerns following your organisation’s procedures.

Signposting and Support

If someone is experiencing domestic abuse, they can access confidential help from:

Women’s Aid – information, survivor support, and online chat
Refuge, the UK’s largest specialist domestic abuse organisation – specialist support for women and children
Galop – the LGBT+ anti-abuse charity – support for LGBTQ+ survivors
Men’s Advice Line – support for male survivors
Muslim Women’s Network UK – supports Muslim women experiencing abuse, discrimination, or exploitation. Provides a national helpline, advocacy, and specialist casework.
Local domestic abuse services via safeguarding partnerships
GPs, health visitors, and social care teams

Encourage individuals to reach out safely and in a way that feels manageable for them.

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